Every hour since I've been back in England I have been thinking about Uganda, longing to be able to be in two places at once.
I suppose the contrast between England and Uganda had less of a dramatic emotional impact this time round as I was more prepared.. but I still hold everything I learnt and experienced very close to my heart. I still acknowledge how organised and orderly we are in England, how well the roads are tarmac'd, the lack of worry of abuse, war or death, the absense of random cows and goats, how we have everything yet always think we need more, how shallow we can be and how right some Ugandan's have got things, how much more family and community orientated Ugandan's are, how joyful and thankful they are for every day, how much more respectful they are to others and their elders, how faithful they are. I miss Uganda.
I do find it difficult to go shopping.. its been Christmas, New Year and now its the January Sales and I everytime I walk into a store, full of people rumaging through mountains of clothes, it just reminds me how much we have and how little others have. Many of us so easily spend a tenner on a top which we may not even need but just buy it because its a bargin.. now I naturally start converting it into ugandan money and think twice when I realise what that tenner could do in countries like Uganda.. for some its all they live on for a whole month.
I am constantly thinking of the kids and praying that they are ok.. Sherry and Aidah's family were so lovely and gave a Christmas card which I opened on Christmas day.. it meant so much to me. They have also managed to remember the computer skills I taught them and emailled me all on their own! The other day I received 4 emails from various kids, each of them sooo lovely, full of thanks and saying how much they missed me.. i miss them all too.. alot!
Even things like seeing charity adverts on TV, or films like slum dog millionaire, going through my pictures or seeing an African person walk down the street all stir up my passion to be back out there.. I cant help but warm to the people and that kind of work.. I just constantly long to be able to help more.
I am soo glad I went to Uganda and have learnt soo much.. and now I am back in this country, living with a huuuge passion to help the children I grew such strong bonds with in Uganda...just to be there for them, to help them develop and guide them as they grow into beautiful adults. I feel as though I have so much to give but am stuck here now, which a huge overdraft and no savings for even a single flight.
Amazingly my old job offered me work so I have some money coming in end of January. I need to start saving now and thinking about my next steps, considering both my future and the future of the projects in Uganda.. I am thinking about doing a PGCE as having a teaching degree may help if I did return.. I guess things will all work out and God will guide my path. I just cant express how passionate I am about the work which I did with the kids and its quite frustrating being in this position now.. if I could have a perfect situation then my family and friends would live near by and I would have a paid job developing the projects and helping the kids in Uganda.. I guess we shall see!
Thankyou all so much for all your prayers and support... I actually cant thank you enough! You all mean so much to me,
Have a great new year full of happiness, adventure and large steps towards fulfilling your dream
Tiarna xx
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